Just Shut up and do it

This Tuesday was fat Tuesday. For those of you who feel like everyday is Fat day, I feel ya. I was looking back at pictures from about a year ago and realized that I look a lot different these days. Twenty pounds lighter, and I feel so much better. I still have a way to go, but what got me from there to here? I just got out there and did it. I quit making excuses, sucked up my unfamiliarity with the gym and got it done, son!!

Last week was my little Kaley's 5th birthday, and she had some work done. Not in the same way I would like to. She has wanted so badly to get her ears pierced, so after cupcakes with her friends at preschool, we made an afternoon of it. I first took her to a "fancy french restaurant," (La Madeline) for a cookie and a big bowl of strawberries minus the Romanoff. Then, we ventured over to the mall for a new bedazzled outfit, and then to do the deed.

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She was so brave as she got into the chair, not really knowing what was going to transpire (even though I have always warned her that it would hurt). I, just like most moms, did not want to see my little girl in unnecessary pain, so I gave her a chance to back out, by asking, "You sure you still want to?". Her answer, "yep, I'm really sure." So, I explained to her the importance of holding still so that her holes would not be crooked, and she braced herself on the arms of the chair as they put the piercing guns to her ear lobes. As the earrings shot through her ears, she sat very still, but got big-eyed, and screamed in pain. That was the part I was dreading. I let her bury her head in my chest when they finished, and we hugged it out.

Big tears were shed in that piercing chair that afternoon, as she said, "mommy, I did not know it would hurt that bad." But, as soon as I lifted the mirror for her to see her new pink sparkly studs in her ears, she smiled a huge smile, and said, "Wow, I look PRETTY." To her, it had all been worth it. And, that was the end of the tears. I was so incredibly proud of her. She had taken it like a woman. She hadn't backed down. She just got the job done.

So, in honor Fat Tuesday, let's take a lesson from my brave little preschooler. Just shut up, get out there and do it. No excuses, no backing out. Just say no to Fat TODAY. Period. Make the changes you've been wanting to make, start walking or running, or attend a group fitness class like you've said you would. Just shut up, brace yourself for the pain, and know it will be all worth it!

Celebrate good times...COME ON!

I realized the other day that I have a really hard time with talking positively about my self and my athletic abilities. On morning runs with my running group, I joke that when I begin my run, the "slow bus" is leaving the station, and urge everyone to give me at least a 10 minute head start. I tell people that I can't wait to run with them....and then follow up with..."I mean waaaaaay behind you". I even bought a shirt that says, "If it weren't for me, you'd have no one to pass" on the front, and "If you can read this, I'm not last" on the back. Hilarious, I know. That's why I felt the overwhelming urge to buy it.

I usually do my runs outside in the whee hours of the morning, but I was forced to run on the treadmill a few mornings ago. I ran a total of four miles, and I'm not going to lie- it took a while. At my gym, the cardio room and weight room are separated only by a few glass walls and some large flat screen TVs hanging from the ceiling. A big beefy Hulk Hogan look-alike, who had been lifting ginormous weights, happened to walk by as I was hopping off of the treadmill. He jokingly asked me, "Did you just run like 30 miles?", since he had watched me run for so long. I replied, "nope. four. I'm just that slow." He said that I did better than he would, and I wondered how in the world he would fit all that muscle between the handrails on the treadmill anyway. Of course, I did not share that with him though. Some things are meant to stay inside my head...until I type my blog, of course. Aren't you lucky! :)

As I walked away, I thought to myself, "why do I always do that??" I can't just take a compliment, and walk away. I have to insult myself, make some derogatory joke, of which I am the butt...literally. It's no wonder that I doubt myself during more challenging long runs and new athletic pursuits. I constantly say that I am incapable, even if it is "just a joke".

All of that has to change. It may give people a little chuckle, but each little negative comment I make about myself chips away at my confidence. No more, "But, I'm not a real runner", or "I run slower than you can walk", or "slow bus" comments. It's time to celebrate that I have the mental and physical ability to complete my physically demanding workouts. I should remind myself that not everyone is able to do these things that we take for granted. I would be willing to bet my life savings that a quadriplegic patient or ALS patient would give just about anything to get on a treadmill and run a few miles, no matter how slow. I know I have said it many times in previous posts, but I am so incredibly thankful that I can. It's time for me to celebrate that, and you should too!

If you see me finishing up a run at the gym, shaking my "groove thang" as I wipe down the treadmill, don't mind me- just celebratin'. If you happen to be in spin class with me and I let out an, "WOOP WOOP, can I get a witness?!"- just celebratin'. And the next time I get a compliment about how hard I work out, I promise to try (very hard) to take it like a woman and keep my mouth shut, except for a polite blush and a "thanks". I may even follow up with an, "oh, that was nothin." Before too long, I'm sure I'll start to believe it too.

Success OR Perfection?

Why is it that we use such stringent and impossible ideals to judge ourselves and determine our success or failure? When will we (by "we", I mean mostly "I") realize that success does NOT mean perfection?

Last week, for my long run, I ran/walked 6.5 miles, and took a nearly 20 minute walk break in the middle. Afterward, I wondered whether to file that workout away as a walk or a run. I decided that as far as workouts go, it was not so great. It took forever to complete, and I walked a ton. Definitely not my best workout, but certainly not my worst either. But, why did I even have to analyze it that way? Is there some rule of running that states that all workouts must fit neatly into a category of a successful run or failed attempt at running? Of course not!

I have a friend who is seriously struggling with self-confidence right now. This precious friend used to run circles around me (quite literally) just a few months ago, but has had a few setbacks, and after several months is now reluctantly restarting her workout routine. She is simply afraid to even try running right now, for fear of failing miserably.

The fact is that even though neither of us are Sports Illustrated Cover-ready, we are both relatively healthy and strong. Yet, we judge ourselves so harshly and walk around calling ourselves failures. It's something that we women do way too much. We consider ourselves to be fat slobs because we don't have the rock hard body of that spin instructor, or failed once again to make time to do that ab video that we bought last week and swore we would do every single day. We can no longer fit into a size 4, and don't remember the last time we had the willpower to skip dessert.

Um, sorry, but, big fat stinkin' deal!

Whether you complete a 20 minute workout video, make good food choices today, accomplish a two mile power walk, or ten mile run, you have accomplished more than MOST Americans today. You are choosing to live healthy and probably inspiring others to do the same.

This afternoon, while swinging in the backyard, my two little girls began screaming, "mommy, we love exercise! Playing and moving our bodies is exercise. Let's exercise!" There's my success! They know that I go to early morning spin classes, or out on early morning runs, and sometimes they even do my yoga video workout with me (even more expertly than I can- I might add!) So, if I accomplish nothing else with my healthier choices, at least I am setting a positive example for them. I'm FAR from perfect but I'll take that kind of success any day.

The Third time's a charm

I have taken most of the month of January off from blogging to focus on my training to complete my third half marathon. It has required lots of early morning (very chilly) runs, working around hunting season schedule conflicts to get in long runs on the weekends, and a more consistent bedtime, (which meant no more late night blogging). But, it was well worth it because now, I can call myself a three time half marathon finisher.

And, I now have the right to wear this shirt. It's my new favorite.



Did I run like a Kenyan and bring home a winner's medal? Nope. In fact, I didn't even catch a glimpse of the Kenyans on the race course because they were so far ahead, even though they ran TWICE the distance that I did. But, I finished...in the rain, and 96% humidity, and without collapsing...and set a personal record for myself by NINE minutes. That, my friend, is not an easy feat.



Exactly one year ago, I completed my first half marathon, which was a huge and lofty goal for an unfit, overweight, non-athletic girl with Muscular Dystrophy. But, (in my best Martin Luther King, JR. voice)...I had a dream! I dreamed that this whole running thing would become a lifestyle for me, a way that I could see some miraculous progress in my body. If you had seen me a year ago, it would be glaringly obvious that without some help from God almighty, that would be near impossible...OK, who am I kidding?...completely and utterly impossible.



Recently, my pastor has preached a series on adding value to your life, and I distinctly remember him saying a few weeks ago that most of us have to see to believe, but that we should instead, have the faith to believe to see the miraculous and impossible in our lives. He told a story about a Navy leader in the Korean war, whose fleet was surrounded by the enemy. When this leader received the report that the enemy was in front, to the east, to the west, and behind his fleet, his response was something like, "good, now they can't get away." He was a glass half full kind of guy apparently. His fleet actually won the battle against all odds, as they were outnumbered and surrounded on all sides.



Friends, I have fought a tough mental battle. Many times, I have felt surrounded on all sides. I have had to come to a place (more than once, I'll admit) of having to say, "Alright, now, God. I am in your hands. Can a girl get some help up in here?" And, God in all his wisdom and faithfulness responded (more than once), by exceeding my hopes. And despite all the odds, I have always pictured myself (even during that first hellish 5K) finishing a long grueling race, feeling great, with a smile on my face. Something inside of me has said along the way,"Dare to believe it, and you WILL see it"



Some runs haven't gone so well, and others have gone wonderfully. But, I have most definitely progressed in my fitness level and physical strength. I think back to that first 5k, where I barely beat out an elderly lady for LAST place and wanted to throw up from sheer physical exertion. But, a few days ago, I ran the Houston Half marathon (13.1 MILES, Holla!) and did not feel the urge to puke or crawl to the medic tent, begging for resuscitation. Nope, not this girl. I am told that Channel 13 news has a shot of me running the race, drenched from rain and sweat, face beet red, waving for the cameras, with a big smile. Just exactly how I dreamed....

Who's Your Mama?

Warning- Random thoughts and a garbage truck load of cheeseball phrases await you in this post. Read only if you dare.

This morning, on my run, I was thinking of all the cheesy phrases people use for motivation in running and fitness. "Power through", "Tap into your source", "Use your Chi and relax your legs". (Seriously? I am RUNNING, for heaven's sake. How relaxed can my legs possibly be??) "Center Yourself". Sure thing. What in the world does that even mean? "Use your powerhouse". Uh huh.

What about all those cliches about struggles and life circumstances? "Everything happens for a reason". Duh.

On New Year's Eve, we invited some friends over for dinner, and to let all the kids run around the house like wild wildebeests. We have a tradition with these friends. Almost every time we get together for dinner, our husbands try to recreate a favorite Asian dish from a restaurant that they once loved, but is now closed. We wives stay out of the way and pretend not to see the aforementioned wild animals trekking through the house. This time, they brought over some hot and sour soup from a local Chinese restaurant to accompany the meal. In the bottom of the bag, there were two fortune cookies. We joked that each family gets one, and we made our selections. I opened the Hall family fortune. (Understand, we don't put a lot of faith in what we find in fortune cookies. We usually like to read them, and then complete the sentence with "on the toilet". It's great fun. You should try it sometime.)

Anyway, I opened up our cookie, and this is what I found: "You will obtain your goal if you maintain your course". Now, if you didn't read my post entitled "Staying on Course", this means nothing. But, if you did, you are saying "Ooh, Wow". Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

Back to this morning. I knew this would be a good week. I was due one. So, I decided to start it with a bang. (Yep, more cliches are on the way). I had my mind set to make it a good run today, and prove to myself that I can do it! So, instead of avoiding the harder hills, or just walking them like I normally do, I decided to take the bull by the horns and run up them. Every one of them.

I think that when it comes to running, and just life in general, sometimes you need to take that bull by his big ugly horns, and drag him up the hills, kicking, snorting, and digging his muscle-bound bull hooves into the dirt, moving backwards with all his might. Get in there, get it done, and call it a day. Then, shout, "Who's your mama, now, bull?" (Only do that if you are positive no one is within hearing distance).

So, that's what I did (shouting only figuratively, of course). At every one of those nasty little hills. And, that's what I intend to do from now on. I am going to keep on keepin' on, knowing exactly WHO is my powerhouse, my source, and my strength- My God. He is behind it all, even the fortune cookie.

Aaaahhhh, Grasshopper. Not so random after all, huh?

I bet you never imagined you could read that many cliches in one sitting. You were wrong.

First on my list

Today is New Year's Eve, and it's time to compose my annual list of resolutions. Though, the my list has a newly- revised title: "My list of How-I-Wills" (see my last post). Sure, the usual "get organized", and "exercise regularly" are on the list. But, I also realize that my actions greatly impact my family's. When I make a pan of brownies and stuff my face with them, do I really expect my kids and husband to not do the same? My mom's relationship with food was a love-hate one, and I kind of believe that I learned my binge on junk-feel guilty-eat only lettuce and carrots-binge again cycle in childhood. I want my girls to have a healthy, open-minded relationship with food, and sophisticated refined tastes and it's up to me to instill that.

"Make sure my family and I eat healthy" is vague, and hard to measure, so one of the top items on my list is "Stuff (or sneak in if necessary) as many fruits and veggies into my family's diet as humanly possible". In order to accomplish this, I intend to seek out recipes that will help me to achieve my goal. I have been scouring the Internet and blog sites to find yummy, simple, and normal tasting dishes my family will like. There are lots of sources out there, but my new favorite site is www.peasandthankyou.com. Check it out. Maybe it will be as inspirational to you as it has been for me! (By the way, I do not personally know this blog writer, I just think her blog rocks!)

Your Princess Dress

Me: "Addie, what do you want to wear to our family Christmas party?"
Addie: "um.....uh......(Bright smile, as if she just figured out the perfect choice)...My Barbie Princess Dress."
Me: "Your Halloween costume? To a Christmas party?"
Her: (with absolute certainty and a sure nod): "Yep!"

This is what I LOVE about kids- their blatant disregard for expectations and limitations. Other children would probably be dressed in velvet dresses with red satin bows and patent leather shoes. But, to my little girl, none of that mattered, because her Barbie Princess dress should be perfectly fine for the occasion. Never mind the list of why-nots : chilly temperatures and the dress' sleeveless design, the uncomfortable nature of the stiff taffeta, or the fact that no one would truly "get" why she was wearing it at Christmas in the first place, because it's not the socially acceptable or appropriate outfit to wear. To a kid, none of this impacts their decision to just be who they want to be, weird and misunderstood, or not.

So, when do we lose this about ourselves? I admit that I will probably not be wearing a Barbie Princess dress ANYWHERE, for fear that I would be committed to mental hospital. So, I don't mean this literally. What I mean is, when do we lose the sense that each day is what we want to make it? Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, our mental conversation becomes something like this:
"I wish I could __________ (start my own business, get healthier, get fitter, learn a new skill, go back to school...)

THEN

The list of why-nots begin and we never follow through.

With the new year approaching, I am going to challenge myself to change my perspective, to get rid of my list of "why-nots" and replace it with my list of "how-I-wills." So, if you see me around town, maybe you'll hear the swish of my proverbial princess dress as I walk by. And, maybe, hopefully, you'll feel inspired to put on your own taffeta and join me...